Module 2
Growing up in a Southern Baptist church left me with a disdain for religion. But, it also provided many opportunities to contemplate religious beliefs. When I found the beliefs to be illogical, unfounded, and sometimes unkind, it was easy for me to disagree internally. Because the Baptist church believed that you could not question the church, that was tantamount to questioning God and a sin, and because of the limitations on me by my parents, I was not allowed to voice my disagreement. At the early age of eight years old I began weighing and evaluating everything I learned at church: wearing shorts and swimsuits was a sin, rock ‘n’ roll music was a sin, dancing was a sin, babies are born into sin, questioning God, in other words the church, was a sin, and all non-believers go to hell. I thought surely myself and the neighborhood children innocently laughing and playing baseball or skating in shorts on a hot summer day were not sinning. Was I sinning when I wore a swimsuit to swimming lessons? And how could the well dressed, well mannered teenagers on American Bandstand be double sinning as they danced and listened to rock ‘n’ roll music? And how could a precious newborn baby that can’t do anything be a sinner? When I learned all non-believers were going to hell, that the Jewish people I loved were going to hell, that was my breaking point. I was done. As I questioned all of these things, I wondered if I was sinning merely by questioning the church's values. My divide with the church became deep, wide, and permanent by my teenage years. I started to have spiritual and metaphysical thoughts in conversations with friends. By adulthood, spirituality and metaphysical thought and beliefs were part of who I was.
I had seen the Daily Word, a Unity/New Thought publication, somewhere along the way. The beliefs in it rang true to me. God is everywhere and in me too. I can change my life by what I think and say. I tried to find this spiritual oasis again, but could not remember the publication's name. Then, one day when I was making a sales call, I was invited into a lovely woman’s museum-like home. I’m sure she was an angel. She invited me in to have a seat and left the room to go do something. She seated me beside a table with the Daily Word on it. I immediately recognized it and began to read. Yes! This is what I had been searching for. She gave me the booklet and sent me on my way. I subscribed to the Daily Word and eventually found my way to the local Unity/New Thought church. I discovered a church home that didn’t care if I wore shorts or a swimsuit. They didn’t care what I wore. They were nonjudgmental and believed in loving people, not judging them. They didn’t care what music I listened to. In fact, a member of the church was a well known rock artist. There was a photo from the newspaper of her on the bulletin board in our Vitality Room, where we socialized. And, on occasion, dancing was part of our church's celebrations. Sin was not a part of the church's beliefs. They believed that God is in us and we are in God. We are love like God is love, and what matters is how you treat other people. Questioning traditional Christian doctrines was a part of many church messages. As for heaven or hell, that’s within the lives we make for ourselves. There is no external heaven or hell. We are born of God and return to God when we transition from this plane.
My childhood church and Unity church were as different as night and day. I had found a church home. I found a spiritual life that was meaningful that I could question and deeply embrace.
What a contrast - clarity is a lovely thing!